Men give wrinkly scrotums the sack

The printing press. The refrigerator. Those stickers you put on your door telling salespeople not to knock.

Human history has seen many inventions that come along and change everything, innovations that you can instantly recognise as something that is going to make life better for everyone.

And it looks like it’s happened again, with the news that a new procedure called Scrotox is becoming increasingly popular with men who wish for a smoother, more youthful-looking scrotum.

GQ magazine reported this week that British blokes are paying as much as $5,000 for Scrotox, while men in the USA and Australia are having their ball sacks smoothed in increasing numbers.

You can see how we of the masculine persuasion view the arrival of Scrotox as a godsend.

We’ve spent our whole lives dreaming of a sleek, aerodynamic scrotum, but never believing such a thing was truly possible.

Now, for a “reasonable” fee, we actually have the chance to turn our Shar Peis into Great Danes, and put an end to years of embarrassment and humiliation.

What a vast difference it will make. No more teasing. No more jeering onlookers. No more young women screaming and fainting and making sardonic references to Benjamin Button.

What exactly is Scrotox?

Scrotox is a simple procedure involving the injection of Botox — everyone’s favourite neurotoxic protein — into the muscle under the skin of the scrotum in order to reduce wrinkling and increase its appearance of size.

According to Dr Jeremy Hunt from the Australian Society of Plastic Surgeons, this gives the scrotum “the effect of looking smoother, larger and often will cause the scrotum to hang lower”.

“With 60 being the new 50 or 70 the new 60, these kind of procedures are requested by males who feels [sic] vital and youthful on the inside but may look a little more well worn on the outside,” Dr Hunt told GQ.